Sunday, May 4, 2008
some thing to do
What I would like to do when in my older years (how old am I now? You don't know, do you?) is live in a cabin up in the woods. Or better yet out in the desert, the high desert like E. Oregon type of desert. Alone, unshaven, mumble to myself a bit more than I do now... and look around for rocks, I like that, you know. I would be a real good prospector on the look-out for gold. But now I fancy finding thunder eggs, agates, jaspers opals (even if it is the "common" type), petrified wood and all that other jazz. Polish them up, cut them , form them, so much material for my projects! It is wonderful. Take my mind from unrequited love. Moved on to bigger and better things. A life far from mine. I shall wander about that I am good at, and to feel the warm sun.
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I know how young you are! ;-) Ahhh... a cabin in the woods sounds incredible. And that life sounds like one that would truly fulfill you. Why do we hold onto unrequited love? I ask myself this all the time. And as with you, when that questioning starts invading, I immediately start thinking about a different place... a place where nature owns my heart and soul, a love that is always bountiful, honest, and forgiving.
I know fully that we desire and need some kind of human connection but I think that there are a few of us who do better being predominantly isolated with some connection versus the mass of people who need much connection and little isolation.
My hope is that the people who I will sustain considerable relationships with in life will appreciate this about me... that they will allow me to be my introspective and somewhat isolated self and love me nonetheless and give me that freedom to be me. And in turn, I will love who they are and give them the freedom they need as well. I really want kindred souls in my life, not just physical bodies occupying my space and time. More and more, I realize that until I heed my own true self, those kindred souls are hard to come by. and more and more, I appreciate that there is no kindred soul like that of nature. A lazy, late summer sun setting over a golden field.... the cracking sound of tall trees swaying gently in the wind of a forest... wild horses dancing across the high desert, thunder clouds forming above them in the sky.
Wow... yet again, your thought-provoking post has taken me off on somewhat of a tangent! :)
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